I Feel So F*cking Stupid...?

I always feel so damn fat. I'm 5'3, im 15 years old, and im 140 pounds. I was almost 250 lbs when i was younger, and i lost alot of weight, but i still feel overweight. Nobody is calling me fat, but when i look in the mirror, all i see is this really ugly girl who nobody could ever love. I have tried committing suicide before, and ive had to stay at two Mental Hospitals(one in Lowell and one in Hamsted) because of my extreme self hate and some self mutilation. Im on stupid pills but they arnt working for ****. I'm starting to get frusterated. I dont know what else to do...